The last four days, ever since I came back to China, I haven’t been able to fall asleep before four AM and it’s driving me insane!
On average I’m sleeping a little over three and a half hours a night, which is less than half of what I normally sleep (I like sleeping!). Seeing the sun come up and hearing the birds sound their first morning thrills isn’t very good for my mental state. I try to go to bed at a normal time, bet end up twisting and turning on this bed that is so hard it is making my whole body ache just to top things off.
Finally, after hours, I’ll fall asleep only to wake a little later by the sound of The Boyfriend getting up (he gets up at seven). Then I try to stay awake, which of course I can’t.
I landed in a twilight zone like cycle that I am not able to break. Not only does the not sleeping during the night and as a result sleeping during the late morning keep the cycle going, but my mind seems to have great fun in finding original thoughts and questions to keep me entertained while still being utterly frustrated and bored (I know, it’s a paradox).
Like, if you only had a toothpick and you really wanted to kill yourself, what the fastest and surest way would be to go about it. Or, if I’d invented the paper-clip what original and funny name I’d give it (because “paper-clip” is so predictable)., or what the est way is to rob a bank. These thoughts might seem like great entertainment but due to the scattered nature of my mind during nightly hours, it’s hardly worth the effort.
I tried counting sheep, bit that’s so boring I can’t make it past 25, I tried to do mathematics, but I’m so bad at this that it only adds to my frustration.
Reading books helps, until I put it away and lie down. Smoking cigarettes keeps my boredom at bay, but doesn’t help with the sleeping bit, it only wakes me up more.
So what’s a girl to do? Maybe I should exercise all day so I’ll be exhausted by the time at bed time, but then again I’m so tired during the day because of my distorted sleeping pattern the thought alone is too much…