I can appreciate a good list, in fact even making lists makes me feel good, especially when they’re quite useless, weird, inappropriate, etc. So there is List #1, enjoy!
Oh, and if any of you out there have something to add or have an idea for the next list, feel free to leave a comment!
Things that I just have to have done at least once!
- Say “booya!” at an appropriate time with lots of passion
Done: Yesterday, 21th of October, during quiz night I had the most brilliant answer, and I said “Booya!” and it was great! It was like a once in a lifetime opportunity, I grasped it with both hands and now I can cross it of my list never having to do it ever again (’cause being totally honest it’s pretty lame to call out “booya” in any situation)!
- Tell someone matter-of-factly in his/her face they really suck and that the world would be so much better of with him/her not in it, while it is the gods-honest-truth.
I have told people that they really suck and that them disappearing into a black hole would most certainly put off Armageddon for at least five millennia, but this was while being negatively excited and it probably wasn’t the “whole truth and nothing but the truth”…
- Survive for a month in the wilderness
How cool would it be living in the middle of nowhere and just be self-sufficient? Little bit of fishing, shooting some monkeys out of a tree, build a fire and a hut. It would be like the great exam everyone should take just in case civilisation has its downfall during his/her lifetime. And then, whenever people go on and on about how we’re screwing things up, you can say “what ever dude, I can survive in the wilderness and shoot monkeys out off trees, f* civilisation!” in a really cool tone of voice.
Things that I wish I could do!
- Go mentally insane, so I can run around naked screaming while shooting at people with a paint-ball gun loaded with pink (I repeat: PINK) paint-ball bullets (or what ever those things are called) for no clear reason (= no reason any reasonable/sane person would be able to grasp)
Being mentally accountable all the time creeps me out at times. That nagging voice inside my head telling me what I can&can’t, should&shouldn’t, must&mustn’t is… well, I can’t think of an appropriate adjective… Wouldn’t it be nice to just once let go and not be hold accountable for your actions?
- Live on a deserted island, dance around a fire and have invigorating discussions with a coconut named Monday, or another day-of-the-week-coconut
Just for a little while, not for ever! I have periods during which people bug the hell out of me and all I want to say is: “get the f* off my porch! (I don’t have a porch, but if I did, wow…). So being on a deserted island for a while doesn’t seem so bad, especially considering I’ll have a Monday-coconut to converse with.
- Go back in time, invent the paper-clip or the post-it and give my invention a ridiculous or inappropriate name, then go back to this time and laugh my ass off
How is that for an inside joke?! All I need to do is think up a name!
- Become empress of the world, or even better; the universe, and prohibit football. For all you football-lovers out there: sorry, I really can’t appreciate the game (I’ve tried)
Even “just” being empress of the universe would be greatly appreciated. Or even better than better: empress of the multiverse! YES! Anyone who want to support me in the good fight?
- Go into The Total Perspective Vortex (The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)
The Total Perspective Vortex was built because the wife of the inventor would always say to him to “have some sense of perspective”, so he build a machine that would give you just that; some perspective in relation to the universe and the whole of existence. After finishing the device he put his wife in there which consequently drove her mad. Not that I specificity want to go mad with perspective in relation to the universe and the whole of existence, but it would be nice to know where I stand, so to say.